How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
