but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
