nut hugger
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
