Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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