My sheets look like a crime scene.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
