There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
