I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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