I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
