She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
