Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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