my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
