I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
