Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
