sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Randomize
