she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
