He is an equal opportunity slut.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
