AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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