She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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