He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
