just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
