either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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