I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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