why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
