Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
