i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
