Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
