batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
