I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Still dying that you shit outside
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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