You're completely useless in the revolution.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
