I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
