The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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