I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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