Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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