pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Sober January is a disaster.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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