Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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