What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Vodka?
Forever.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
