U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
