You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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