Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He? As in you personified your dick?
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