You smell like stripper and shame
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
