Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I wish you could order shots online.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
