I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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