I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
