Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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