I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
