I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Randomize
