What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
