yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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