I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
