Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I got inside last night via doggy door
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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